MidJourney AI Art

Astrocytoma Blog Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Just had an out-of-this-world experience because of Astrocytoma. If it weren't for the photos, no one would believe me.

This moment, exactly a year ago, I was getting radiation in my brain for the 14th time. I was told I would have to take chemotherapy off and on for the following year. A Neuro-Oncologist told me I would be gone within the decade. I was more scared than any interpretation of the word terrified. The more research I did and all the thoughts in my head made me think I was going crazy. The ideas, the sensations, and the very essence of existence went to extremes in ways it’s difficult to explain.

But there is something profoundly unique on the other side of hell. My first Neuro-Oncologist who told me I would be gone in a few years was wrong, EXTREMELY WRONG. My life isn’t threatened and neither is my health. If you read Part 2 of these blog posts, a doctor called and informed me I was at low risk. At first, I felt so uplifted, like the terror and horror I had been feeling for months had slipped away. But how did I know if they were right? One doctor tells me I will be gone within the decade, while the other says I’m fine. How do I know who to trust?

It took me an entire year of reading studies and chatting with multiple AI systems to know what to do next. They taught me the questions to ask and to question as many doctors as I could. The naming conventions, the research, and the understanding of 1600 mutations were more complex than anything I had ever imagined. All the accessible studies were started twenty years ago. Modern technology with AI is advancing faster than the research papers are being released.

What’s even more profound is the fantastic side effects of Astrocytoma and the treatments people receive.

"No matter how many stars there are in the sky, no matter how many galaxies swirl beyond our own…”

— Number One.

One afternoon last year, I was standing in the front yard and suddenly had a sensation of a smell but not through my nose. Somehow the smell led me to believe an Earthquake would happen sometime in the next few weeks. Not hours or days, but in weeks. I posted it on Facebook. No one believed me at first. I thought I was crazy as I started nailing the bookshelves and magnetizing the cabinets. Then six weeks later we had a 5.1 Earthquake. So many people sent me private messages, just blown away. I am glad my dad had visited and seen all the work I had done a day before the Earthquake

5 WEEKS LATER

I started receiving lots of texts messages.

(Each of these are from different people)

In Part 5 of these blog posts, I mentioned my sense of time has changed dramatically. It’s difficult to explain, but one day my mom said I was reminding her of the movie “Phenomenon.” To my shock, I suddenly remembered renting it from Blockbuster video in Santa Clara, California, on July 7th, 1997, at 7:32 pm. It was a Friday.

The movie is about a man who sees a bright light in the sky one night. Things suddenly change in startling ways . He does not need to sleep anymore. He can read a book in moments. He learns a language in minutes. He has a newfound intelligence and consciousness, etc.

For what it’s worth, I’m amazed how few trailers of it there are and how little you can read about it. It needs to be watched.

John Travolta’s character discovers he has Astrocytoma. Yes, the same type of brain tumor I was diagnosed with. To my amazement, one of the doctors I’ve been seeing knew about the fantastic event that happened in the movie. The doctor was so casual explaining to me that the movie exaggerated many of John Travolta’s abilities, but they were combined from many patients with Astrocytoma over the years. It blew my mind. I wish I had those incredible telekinetic abilities. I didn’t realize it then, but now it feels cosmic. Unfortunately, there is only one movie about Astrocytoma. The character is diagnosed at 1:30:44.

In January of this year, I had to attend a sales meeting at the headquarters of the company I work for. It was a two-hour drive, but this was the first time in the last year that things were starting to feel normal again. I work remotely and video-chat with my team often. It felt so lovely to meet many of these people in person for the first time. I don’t work in sales, but it felt great to be around so many people. I didn’t realize how many of my coworkers knew about my situation. Several of them came running up to me, having already heard of Astrocytoma. The company I work for is spread out across the world. People from other regions are more accepting and believe in the “impossible.” So many of them told me stories about it. I was rocked to my core when one of the company's owners told me he had lost his brother to Astrocytoma decades ago. I was shocked; I didn’t know what to say. It was devastating to hear. After all the studies I read last year, I understand how many lives Astrocytoma has taken.

All my coworkers were so kind, accepting, and supportive. I didn’t know what to think. I have never had this type of experience before. I’m not sure if anyone else has. I cannot even explain it all.

But there was even a more significant twist coming. I think it’s more than obvious I’m a science-fiction writer. You’re here on the novel's website and can see the short stories, the audiobook, and all the art I’ve created for me and Christopher Preiman’s Sci-Fi universe, The Amaranth Chronicles.

I brought nine copies of the book to the meeting on a Friday. I wanted to hand them out to anyone who would be interested in reading it. I’m still shocked they were gone before I got to the meeting room. It brought tears to my eyes.

The following morning, I decided to do something I had been thinking about for months. During last year’s obsession with trying to learn as much as possible about Astrocytoma, I discovered that the movie “Phenomenon” was shot in Old Town Auburn. This tiny little town was less than a thirty-minute drive from the headquarters of the company I work for. Naturally, I wanted to experience it.

I walked around the tiny little town, utterly blown away. The only movie about Astrocytoma was shot here. The only film about these strange experiences that seem utterly science-fiction was shot here. I was standing here, embarrassingly taking pictures while the tears fell from my eyes. It felt so improbable, so impossible, but it was happening.

Forgot to take a picture of the Brewery. XD

There are a few scenes in “Phenomenon” inside the brewery. The brewery I forgot to take a picture of the outside of. Since the movie, the brewery has been modernized and it’s fun to look inside. There is a fantastic scene where John Travolta’s character reaches his hands out, feeling hurt by some of his friends. The glass behind the bar suddenly breaks. However, the bar is still in the brewery. I wish I could have taken better pictures, but I was trying to stay lowkey. I was already in tears and wearing an original Star Trek shirt under my sweater. I did not want anyone to notice.

Just down from the bar in the brewery I left something important to me. It wasn’t just important, it made me feel like I was having a conversation with the cosmos itself.

“Our first visit from the stars is always the province of children's stories and science fiction, until one day it isn't." - Number One

Be bold, be brave.

As the sun began to set, I made my way up the steep staircase of the city's capital building, located just beyond the boundaries of the neighborhood. The building stood tall on a hill, offering breathtaking views of the charming Old Town Auburn.

Reaching the top of the staircase, I was struck by an indescribable feeling. Some might call it spiritual, others might say it was eerie, and still others might describe it as astronomical. But to me, it felt cosmic.

As I gazed down at the sprawling town below, I was reminded that what once seemed impossible was now a reality, and I was left in awe of the beauty and wonder of the world around us.

The journey of battling a life-threatening illness is never an easy one, but it can be a transformative experience that shapes the way you view the world and your place in it. The fear and uncertainty that came with the diagnosis of Astrocytoma can be overwhelming, but it's important to remember that it's just the beginning of a journey.

My memories of lying on a table and reading instructions from a computer screen while my surgeon was in my brain. The struggle to speak and express myself as my brain swelled is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and it's a reminder that we are capable of overcoming even the toughest challenges.

It's not surprising that I found my comfort in the movie "Phenomenon" shot near my company's headquarters, as it provided a tangible connection to the journey I was on. Leaving a copy of the science fiction story I co-wrote made my presence known.

Overall, my story is one of resilience, perseverance, and the power of the human spirit. Despite the odds and the fear that come with a life-threatening illness, I've been able to find moments of joy and meaning along the way, and that is truly inspiring.

“… Perhaps somewhere all your ends are written as indelibly as mine. But I choose to believe that your destinies are still your own. Maybe that’s why I’m here, to remind you of the power of possibilities. Maybe that’s the good in seeing my future, that I might remind you that right up to the very end, life is to be worn gloriously. Because until our last moment, the future is what we make it.” – Captain Christopher Pike, Star Trek: Strange new worlds.

Thank you for reading

Astrocytoma Blogposts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10